Monster popularity comes and goes, and so it behooves you to stay up-to-date on the latest in terrifying creature trends so you aren’t embarrassed at your next Halloween party.  The following list was compiled by a double-blind controlled study done by a team of interdisciplinary scientists working collaboratively over the course of several decades using public funds that came mostly from your pocket. Yes, you. And guess what? More study needs to be done. A lot more.

HOT

Loch Ness Monster

Fish Man

Chupacabra (yes, again)

Pretzel Hands Lurker

Half-Man-Half-Mandolin (aka The One-Man Bluegrass Band)

The Thing That Makes The Noise Underneath Your Bed

The Thing That Makes The Noise Inside Your Closet

The Thing That Makes The Noise Under Your Floorboards

Disembodied Heart That Floats Through The Air And Tries To Get In Your Mouth

Ghosts

MAYBE, WE’LL SEE

Badger Snakes

Flying Snapping Turtle Vampires

Regular Vampires

Angry Possessed Brooms (solo, no witches)

Haunted Cream Of Wheat

Eels

Poltergeist Refrigerators

Mummies

NOT

Zombies (overexposed, backlash)

Evil Dolls

Evil Clowns (GO AWAY!!!)

Demented Owls

Yeti (hipster backlash)

Screeching Banshees (SHUT UP)

Succubi (You’re not scary, you’re sexy. Everybody knows what you’re doing and you’re embarrassing yourself.)

Mermaids (See above.)

Werewolves (Enough already. Get help.)

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