SARX plays the guitar for NINIA, who sits and listens uncomfortably.
Sarx: (SINGS)… you’re my Native American friend. (CHORD) Did you like it?
Ninia: Was that for me?
Sarx: What do you mean?
Ninia: Because I’m 1/8 Native American? Did you write that song for me?
Sarx: No, it was more like, a general sort of song. You know?
Ninia: So when you said “friend,” you weren’t trying to tell me something?
Sarx: It’s a song.
Ninia: Do you love me, Sarx?
Sarx: What? Why would you ask that?
Ninia: Because. I think I love YOU, but I can’t really tell how YOU feel, so I thought I’d just ask.
Sarx: Oh. Um. ( A BEAT) I guess I don’t know.
Ninia: You don’t KNOW?
Sarx: It’s just really fuzzy, you know?
Ninia: Sarx. We’ve been friends-slash-almost more than that for two years. Why don’t you know yet?
Sarx: I just don’t know where I’m gonna be, you know? I applied to that marine biology unpaid internship, and that radio documentary boot camp workshop thing, with the ropes course…
Ninia: Right. What happened to the playwriting MFA?
Sarx: I don’t want to do drama anymore.
Ninia: But what about all those plays? What, did you burn them?
Sarx: I’m into nonfiction now, and the purity of truths.
Ninia: So what’s the truth about us?
Sarx: Do you want to hear another song?
Ninia: No, I don’t think so.
Sarx: Just one song.
Ninia: Isn’t that marine biology thing where you live in an underwater geodome for six months?
Ninia: So you might go live underwater?!?!
Sarx: It’s one option.
Ninia: Oh my god.
Sarx: The fish need me, Ninia. I can’t let them down.
(DOOR OPENS, AMETHYST ENTERS)
Amethyst: Hello friends!
Ninia and Sarx: Hi Amethyst.
(A BUNCH OF PEOPLE COME IN BEHIND AMETHYST)
Sarx: What’s all this?
Amethyst: Oh just some Facebook friends. I don’t really know who they are.
Ninia: Oh. So how did you–
Amethyst: I just put up a status update that I was coming over to your room, and who wants to come, and this is who showed up.
I guess they’re my friends!!
Guy: Hi. I’m Brett.
(SARX EXTENDS HIS HAND AND BRETT FLYERS HIM)
Guy: My band is playing this Thursday at the Rainbow Dungeon. You should come.
Sarx: No thanks.
(BRETT RETRACTS THE FLYER SULLENLY)
Girl: (TO NINIA) So, do you care about the environment?
Ninia: Yes, why?
Girl: Would you like to make a donation to Greenpeace? (PULLS OUT CLIPBOARD)
Ninia: I don’t care about the environment anymore.
Girl: Have a nice day.
THE END? (SKETCH TRAILS OFF INTO SOME OTHER NONSENSE)