SARX plays the guitar for NINIA, who sits and listens uncomfortably.

Sarx: (SINGS)… you’re my Native American friend.  (CHORD)  Did you like it?

Ninia: Was that for me?

Sarx: What do you mean?

Ninia: Because I’m 1/8 Native American? Did you write that song for me?

Sarx:  No, it was more like, a general sort of song. You know?

Ninia: So when you said “friend,” you weren’t trying to tell me something?

Sarx:  It’s a song.

Ninia: Do you love me, Sarx?

Sarx: What? Why would you ask that?

Ninia: Because. I think I love YOU, but I can’t really tell how YOU feel, so I thought I’d just ask.

Sarx: Oh. Um. ( A BEAT)  I guess I don’t know.

Ninia: You don’t KNOW?

Sarx: It’s just really fuzzy, you know?

Ninia: Sarx. We’ve been friends-slash-almost more than that for two years. Why don’t you know yet?

Sarx: I just don’t know where I’m gonna be, you know? I applied to that marine biology unpaid internship, and that radio documentary boot camp workshop thing, with the ropes course…

Ninia: Right. What happened to the playwriting MFA?

Sarx: I don’t want to do drama anymore.

Ninia: But what about all those plays? What, did you burn them?

Sarx: I’m into nonfiction now, and the purity of truths.

Ninia: So what’s the truth about us?

Sarx: Do you want to hear another song?

Ninia: No, I don’t think so.

Sarx: Just one song.

Ninia: Isn’t that marine biology thing where you live in an underwater geodome for six months?

Sarx: Kinda.

Ninia: So you might go live underwater?!?!

Sarx: It’s one option.

Ninia: Oh my god.

Sarx: The fish need me, Ninia. I can’t let them down.

(DOOR OPENS, AMETHYST ENTERS)

Amethyst: Hello friends!

Ninia and Sarx: Hi Amethyst.

(A BUNCH OF PEOPLE COME IN BEHIND AMETHYST)

Sarx: What’s all this?

Amethyst: Oh just some Facebook friends.  I don’t really know who they are.

Ninia: Oh. So how did you–

Amethyst: I just put up a status update that I was coming over to your room, and who wants to come, and this is who showed up.
I guess they’re my friends!!

Guy: Hi.  I’m Brett.

(SARX EXTENDS HIS HAND AND BRETT FLYERS HIM)

Guy: My band is playing this Thursday at the Rainbow Dungeon. You should come.

Sarx: No thanks.

(BRETT RETRACTS THE FLYER SULLENLY)

Girl: (TO NINIA) So, do you care about the environment?

Ninia: Yes, why?

Girl: Would you like to make a donation to Greenpeace? (PULLS OUT CLIPBOARD)

Ninia: I don’t care about the environment anymore.

Girl: Have a nice day.

THE END? (SKETCH TRAILS OFF INTO SOME OTHER NONSENSE)

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