Hello, craft persons! Just a quick email reminder that today is your absolute last possible chance (really!) to sign up for one of our Hot Hot Hot FancyCrafts Summer Intensives!!!! After this email we will NOT be sending you ANY more emails, EVER! And if you don’t sign up RIGHT NOW we swear to the crafting gods that you will rue the day that you decided to bypass this golden opportunity to deepen your creativity and embark on an adventure of learning and creating, crafting, crying, laughing, more crying, and then ultimate victory!!!!
Below is a very short list of the electrifying classes that are STILL AVAILABLE although NOT FOR LONG so please sign up NOW or you will regret it forever, we can promise you that:
1. Making your own candles out of natural honey and a jar with sand in it. Did you ever think in a million years you would be able to make your own candles? Well you can. With the cooperation of a small hive of very angry bees, a lot of patience, and some very thick gloves, you can make your own candle in the same time it would take you to walk to the store buy a cheap packet of 45 candles and go through those all summer long and into the fall. Bring your own bees.
2. Reconstruct your old, tired clothes that you don’t wear into new, weird outfits that you also won’t wear. Nothing says ‘I refuse to give up’ like taking clothes you know 100% for sure you will never wear again and making them into something fresh and innovative that you are 87% sure you won’t wear, if you’re honest with yourself. I mean really, look at that. However, we do guarantee that you will have fun!
3. Knit a small simple hat in 6 to 8 months. Now is the time to get started on those simple winter hats that should technically take only 2 to 3 hours, but FancyCrafts is realistic and we know that it’s going to take you about 7 months, average. With our absolute lack of pressure, you can unleash your creativity on your own schedule! This is a safe place to knit with no judgments and absolutely no time pressure! Send us a letter when you finish your hat and we will put it on this (currently empty) bulletin board!
4. Make a 40-foot lanyard and then try to figure out what to do with it!!!! There is little that is more satisfying than weaving the kind of lanyard you used to struggle with at summer camp, and finding out that you weren’t just incompetent back then, it is, actually, kind of hard because those strings are really slippery. This time, however, you WILL prevail, and your total lanyard victory will ring throughout the land, especially when people find out that your lanyard is at LEAST 40 feet long, probably longer, because we have some seriously huge spools of really weird colors that we need to use up before the fall session. Only 60 bucks!!!!
5. Make a pillowcase out of a t-shirt. If you have never sewn anything before, this is the class for you! All we will do is sew the holes shut (armholes, neck hole) in some old t-shirts, and voila! A classy, timeless pillowcase! Impress your friends and raise your self esteem by 40% in JUST ONE NIGHT!
6. Dream visualization boarding. This is where you cut out pictures from a magazine and glue-stick them to a cardboard backing and stare at them until all those pictures manifest themselves in your own life. If this doesn’t work for you then you just haven’t waited long enough! Maybe join the lanyard class while you’re waiting and staring! Eventually, things work out, we just know it!!!!!
Remember to register now, and say the magic phrase (CRAFT YOU) for a 23% discount on select classes, which may or may not include those listed above.
Hope to see you this summer!
The persons at FancyCrafts Worshop