It’s hard to get lost in a soccer field, but that is exactly what happened to Roger Watkins in the 2nd half of the game, right after the Peoria Prowlers scored their third goal.

“What the hell?” thought Roger, as he wandered around in what seemed to be an endless stretch of green nothing surrounded by a dark blue misty sky illuminated by floodlights.  “Everybody was here a second ago, and where did they go?”

Roger’s team, the Montclair Mountain Lions, could not find Roger either.  “What the hell?” they said in unison, as they gathered in a huddle, and then they gave up and brought in Steve Ferndale, who didn’t have the fastest legs going, but at least he was here. In the next four minutes the Montclair Mountain Lions gave up three more goals.

“Shit,” thought Roger, and he thought back to his childhood and strategies he may have used once to get out of a corn maze.  You were just supposed to pick a direction and keep going, even if it was the wrong direction, otherwise you’d end up going in circles.  He could hear the game going on, and he was very much aware that his team was losing painfully.

Just then a glowing door appeared to Roger’s right.  It had tentacles coming out of it and a weird light, and a strange hot wind, but Roger knew from seeing the movie Poltergeist that this was a good thing, and he walked straight into it and he came out the other side slimy and slightly shaken, but back in the game. He also had a miniature pig with him that he didn’t have before.  I guess it must have followed him out.

In the next five minutes he scored four more goals and the Montclair Mountain Lions were back in the game.

“What did you see out there?” asked Pete Murgen in the next huddle–

“Don’t worry about it,” said Roger.   The whistle blew and the Mountain Lions ran back out to the field and the pig watched from the sidelines.