So if you sort of feel like making a pound cake or whatever, here’s a place to start I guess.

throw in a couple of eggs, some milk, and vanilla.

mix that up.  look out the window.  there’s a bird out there.  insert a raisin.

now add the flour.  oh, you don’t have any left.  go to the store then.  while you’re at the store, get a jar of cornichons and three grapefruit and forget why you came in the first place.  stand around in the aisle for a while until you remember.  oh yeah, flour.  buy it and go back.

insert flour.  download 6 songs from iTunes.  listen to them on repeat.  open your mail.  oh shit, there’s that bill.  what’s the due date?  damn it.

add baking powder and salt.  drink some orange juice directly from the carton.  spill some orange juice into the batter.  whoops.

there’s that bird again.  it’s also with a squirrel.  what would it be like to be outside ALL THE TIME?  probably pretty weird.  and nice, because then there would be no heating bills.  and you could walk around naked all the time, not that that’s a goal, but clothes can be annoying.

add sugar, more butter than you care to think about, and what the heck, how about five cloves?  what else in in the fridge that needs to go?  a fig.  who knows how old that is?  in it goes.  and whatever else.

put the batter on the windowsill and go to your reherasal.  forget about it for three days.  find it again while swiffering the kitchen.  throw it out.

Serves none.

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