cried Longbeard One-Eye, who had suspected all along that he shouldn’t have hired those mean-looking twins with the double hook arms.

Yes, they had been stuck out in the Arctic for seven months, the ice having surrounded their ship and locked them in and broken up their vessel into splinters, and yes, they had already eaten all their trusty dogs, even the fur, and yes, things looked bleak if you looked at it in a certain way–

“They are bleak” said Double Hook Arm Twin 1, nudging Longbeard One-Eye onto the plank.  “We’re not listening to your crap anymore”

“Yeah” said Double Hook Arm Twin 2, who could never think of anything to say for himself, but agreed with a lot of what Double Hook Arm Twin 1 said.

“If you could just think positive” said Longbeard One-Eye, who actually didn’t have any eyes, but because he liked to focus on the good rather than the bad, he had just kept his name “One-Eye” after his parrot pecked out the one that still worked.  And he did still have the long beard.

“Jump” said Double Hook Arm Twin 1.

“Come on, boys, it’s spring,” pleaded Longbeard One Eye (no eyes), “the sun is out, doesn’t it feel glorious?”

“When the ice melts, we’re going to die” said Double Hook Arm Twin 1.  “Why are you going to be happy about that?”

“Yeah” said Double Hook Arm Twin 2.  “Yeah.”

“You create your own reality” said Longbeard One-Eye.

“Then create your own reality and jump” said Double Hook Arm Twin 1.

“Yeah” said Double Hook Arm Twin 2.

“Let me think about it” said Longbeard One-Eye.

And that’s what’s happening right now.