So what?  I climbed out of the ocean and I wriggled up onto the beach with my little legs and I tried to breathe the air and it didn’t work.  Big deal.

Not everybody has to live on land.  To be honest, I didn’t care for it.  Sand is itchy.  The sun is hot.  There’s a whole bunch of predators out there that I don’t feel like I need to learn about.  Chances are, their legs are way longer and stronger than mine anyway–not to mention eyesight, maybe raptors swooping down who can see you from a mile away, and why would I put myself through that? I’m okay with sharks.  I mean, I don’t LOVE them but at least I know what they are. And they’ve got bigger things to eat than me.   I would hope.  If not then that’s just sad for them.

The shallows are nice.  There’s some algae here, and it’s cool.  There is this idea that evolution has to go forward, but the truth is it goes in all directions, even backwards. So put that in your textbook, dummies.

Did you know that there are things way on the bottom of the ocean that have not changed at ALL in 114 billion years?  Ever hear of the coelacanth? That is just the beginning, my friend, and they are doing JUST FINE down there, thank you very much.

So I’m fine here.  You don’t have to put me in your science curriculum. I don’t care.  I know I was here.  I know how things are.  I’m over it, it’s fine.  Now take your big stupid legs and get lost.

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